If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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