I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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