Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Sext me about skeletons
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
