i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize