She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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