Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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