I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
