Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
