I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
