Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
