just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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