found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
