He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You smell like stripper and shame
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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