at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
