Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize