Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
