I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
