Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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