Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Can I color on your dick again?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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