Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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