Farmville is her only friend.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
3pm strippers are depressing
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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