so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
