we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
