Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
