I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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