Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
