I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
third nipple confirmed
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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