Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I stole a fireplace last night.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
