Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize