Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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