I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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