do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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