She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
