im gay
i know
yea but for you.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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