i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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