i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So. Much. Porn.
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