for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
