writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
