what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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