My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
