Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
