you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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