just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
