Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
