You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
