I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
