tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
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