i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
