i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
