Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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