Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
