i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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