I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
