I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize