There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
