He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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