She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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