I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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