no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
barbara walters just said penis...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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