All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
You left your phone here
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