Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize