Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
