Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
