I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
