Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I forgot how hot balto sounded
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize